New Look at Books

I cannot ever walk directly through the door at Barnes and Noble, I must stop and look at all the sale books in the entry foyer first.  Two books immediately caught my attention today,  one about "Daddy" and another about "Granddad".  I don't have grandchildren (yet) and neither my dad or father in law are with us anymore.  I wished so badly to have a reason to buy these colorful, whimsical books.  Next, I found myself browsing the bargain stacks and once again drawn to children's books.  My heart dropped to the depths of my stomach, and literally, I felt a tear slide down my face.  I felt very sad realizing I will no longer be buying books for the children of my school library.  My personal finances will allow me to buy limited quantities for my classroom, but never again like the quantities afforded me as the teacher-librarian for 11 years at Ames, even on a tight budget, a budget that allowed for new titles to lure the kids to read. I am going to miss this so much.  It took great willpower to avoid going to the back of the store where the children's section is....that would have caused me even more sadness and pain.  I wonder if I will ever be able to walk into the Tattered Cover again, or even The Bookies?  I am going to need some serious therapy to get through this void that is facing me as I transition to my new teaching job.